This is the end, i am telling you this now because i've had it, yes i've had enough. Do not worry this is not a suicide letter.
I would like you to know who i am.
All in time, i will also let you know who i am not, actually let us mix those two together so that this story is not just
simply a story, it has to confuse you..
Lets start with my looks, not to be shallow but i think you will find me attractive, alright this is me. I have curley
black hair, brown eyes, im not very tall or athletic, i'm average height and have a slim body and.. no wait that's what
i am not, never mind forget that person. I am a 15 year old lady, i dress all black (Emo) and i enjoy.. I enjoy being happy.
Yes, i could smile all the time, it's almost like i love to show my teeth.. but that's not me either.
Why am i doing this? Why am i keeping you from getting to know who i am, do i even know who i am myself? What i look like?
I mean i have to know that since i am me, but you don't.. Even though you understand what i am describing you still don't
feel like i'm giving you enough information about who i am, am i distracted? am i distracting you?
or are you just distracted yourself?
Alright, i will summorize a few things you should understand by now, my first sentence was this is the end, that sounds
very dramatic considering that's how it started. Does that make me a dramatic person or is it just a sentence i said
that has no meaning for me, you.. or anyone for that matter. That sounded depressing, am i depressed?
Yes i am, hey i just told you something about myself. Anyways we should go on so you can get a much clearer picture
of who i am, or what i am. Now i told you i would let you know who i am (And i will i promise), i also told you
that you will get to know who i am not, but that's a hard question right?
I mean how do you explain who you are or who you are not?
Maybe a name, my name is Alex. But what does that really tell you? That my parents wanted to call me something.
Yes that's not enough to know anything about me, let me explain how i got that name, because it's not a regular story about getting a name.
Right, so my mother had a daughter, and wanted to have a son as well. She was searching for a name that wasn't really common, like Alexander.
So she named me.. Aleksa. Which is close but still not as common. That was my birth name, now you're probobly wondering why i said my name was Alex before.
I switched my name from Aleksa to Alex, not a big difference right? Some people that know me still don't know why i changed it, so here it goes.
When i was 6 years old the year 2000 me, my mom and my sister fled from Bosnia to Sweden. The war ended a few years before that but my mother didn't feel safe
with her two kids in a country that had war before and couldn't know if it would start again. We were poor in Bosnia, i mean we had roof over our heads but
we didn't have much money for food. When we came to Sweden we lived in a refugee camp, we we're still poor but at least we could buy a lot of meatballs
for a cheap price, with that said we ate meatballs everyday for a week or so. I didn't like meatballs for like 10 years after that, but anyways we lived
in a place called Hova that was in Mariestad if i remember correctly. Mom tried to get us in to a school there but there were some issues that i didn't understand
or even remember now. A few months later they moved us to a village called Braås in Småland. I remember being so happy because next to our apartment we
had a playground and there were many kids there, also the apartments didn't have holes in them like where i came from. It was beautiful, i went out to the playground
to make friends but i still hadn't learned the language so i didn't understand what they said, i just smiled a lot and answered in a few words i knew in English
like "Hi my name is" "How are you".
School started and i remember it so well, my mom went there with me and packed my Tom and Jerry backpack with fruit and a jacket. She told me
"Go learn the Swedish language and then you can help your mom learn too, don't worry i will be here when school is over."
I hugged her and said i love you, after that i looked at the school and the kids were looking at me like i did something strange, so i slowly just walked inside took
off my shoes and waited to see where the rest of the kids went. In class the teacher started speaking and said something in Swedish and pointed at me, then she
moved her hand to show me that i should stand up, so i did. She then said "What is your name?" I felt happy because i knew how to answer her question so i said
with a smile "My name is Aleksa". The other kids started laughing so i looked around to try and understand why they were laughing while my smile was slowly going down
until i wasn't smiling anymore.
It has now been a year, i am 7 years old. I now understand Swedish and can also speak it, but i can't read very well. It took me a while to understand why
they laughed at me when i said my name, it was a girls name. I had never met a girl that had the name Aleksa, but simply because it ends with the letter A.
A few examples: Sara, Laura, Emma, Kristina, Emilia, Sandra, Petra, Lena and the list can go on forever. I then tried to think of boys names that ended
with the letter A and i couldn't think of any, at least not any Swedish ones.
I think i was in sixth grade when i finally got to change my name, memory is a little blurry but lets say it was. I was not Aleksa Klasnic anymore,
I was now Alex Dennis Aleksa Klasnic. It's still there right? Yes but that's because i myself liked it, but i didn't want people to laugh at me because of it.
And they couldn't if my name was Alex, and how would they know that it's Aleksa if i didn't tell them.
Wow, okay we're getting somewhere. So i can now say that just by telling you my name you will know.. just my name. Not that there is a story behind it.
Maybe that's what i will do, i can describe things about me in detail that can give you hints about who i am, who knows maybe i can learn something about me too.
Lets see what more can i tell you, oh i know i was born 1994 14th July. 14th July is French national day as well as Swedish princess Viktorias birthday.
No that won't work.. that doesn't really have anything to do with me other than i live in Sweden and i know something about France.
Ah i got it now, i forgot to tell you who i am and who i am not. I am born in Bosnia, I am Orthodox, I am 21 years old, i like rap music but i also enjoy listening to
nice singing voices and lyrics. I am funny and charming, i have blue eyes and dark brown hair and huge eyebrows. Wait.. even though those things are what i am...
They're still not things only i am. I think i described many people with all those adjectives, what if i tried describing what i am not.
I am not tall, i don't read books, i am not a writer, i never finished school.. I don't think you know me now either.
What if that's actually a good thing? What if instead of me telling you all these things.. you ask? Or if you don't want to know or don't care..
then you wouldn't really be reading this far. Or maybe you're looking for a way to describe who you are by seeing how i would do it.
I wonder what you are like.. If i was to guess i'd say you like reading, you think i am weird for writing something like this. Like what is his point with all this?
And why is it in English and not in Bosnian or Swedish? Is he trying to become famous interntionally from this text? Is it a book or a novel?
It can't be because he said he wasn't a writer.. And now i described what i think you're thinking instead of who you are.
Lets end it here, maybe it's time to end it.. like in the first sentence.. i know a perfect ending to this.
This is the beggining


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